Relating to Relationships Archives

Listen to #LoveandHipHop Baltimore Featuring #StrongWayRadio and #DocsCastleMedia on Embrace the Crazy Podcast by Whiskey Girl (Gallery)

Doc did something out of her element over the weekend. Dun, Dun, Dun. Doc’s Castle Media was a special guest alongside the owner of the Strong Way Radio brand on DC’s favorite Whiskey Girl podcast, Embrace the Crazy, to discuss the topic “Love and Hip-hop.” It was an interesting show, indeed, and I’m sure many of my readers will know why.

Most people who know me, know that I’m not very open with my love life. I’m far from the mushy type. Many may recall me being more of a goofball than a love bug. Until more recently, I’ve even gone as far as YEARS since posting a single photograph online of myself with a fling. But apparently, times have changed for Doc because exclusively for the DC Whiskey Queen, I’ve opened up my love life as an open romance novel for her podcast and it wasn’t bad at all.

As stated on WG’s Whiskey and Poetry Blog,

WG is a blogger, self-published author, spoken word artist and single mother with a full-time professional career in the nonprofit mental health arena. She lends her unique voice and perspective to her own WG’s Embrace the Crazy blog as well as MyTrendingStories.com. In addition to writing, her true passions include public work and serving as a mouthpiece to address mental health issues within the black community.

Embrace the Crazy podcast is a series of audio shows hosted by Whiskey Girl on her website WhiskeyandPoetry.com and Soundcloud. The series focuses on a plethora of topics ranging from hip-hop and poetry to mental health and “staying woke.” The sky’s the limit on her show.

While Karlito and I interviewed on the Embrace the Crazy podcast with Whiskey Girl, we covered topics on hip-hop and love, such as the Karlito and Doc love affair, couples collaborating with their brands, Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma beef, how local artists should prepare for hip-hop showcases, and much more. Listen to the full podcast below by visiting Whiskey Girl Souncloud.

After the podcast, the three of us did a raw photoshoot. Because I had so much fun, I thought it would only be right to share the photos on Doc’s Castle Media with the hashtags #BlackLove and #RelationshipGoals to fit the mood. View the gallery for Love and Hip Hop Episode of Embrace the Crazy Podcast below.

http://soundcloud.com/user-167368140/love-and-hip-hop-baltimore

How do you feel about couples collaborating on projects for their brands? Do you think it can be done? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Have you heard Doc’s interview with MDMA Cobain on CutThaCheck Podcast? Listen to Episode Four on Doc’s Castle Media.

#PrayForLove: Are you with the right partner? By Jepoy Pakundo

This post was carefully selected for our #PrayforLove series because it addresses the meaning of love in intimate relationships. This excerpt was found on Facebook.com by Jepoy Pakundo.

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

This Facebook post was published in April 2013. Three years ago these words were written and continue to go viral on the social site today. There’s a reason this post continues to circulate online. So many people agree with what the author had to say. Love is a decision many people must learn if they’re willing to sacrifice a part of themselves to keep them happy and a part of your life.

What do you think? Do you agree with the author? Tell us how you view love and relationships in the comments below.

Have you read our last #PrayforLove post? Read #PrayforLove: A Major Message After 2015 Paris Attacks on Doc’s Castle Media.

What’s Love Got To Do With It

I recently watched the movie What’s Love Got To Do With It starring Angela Bassett, and I never realize how accurate the film was until I took the time out to analyze how real situations in people’s love lives over power their decision-making process. Have you ever come across someone who’s accepting of so much distress from one person only to find out it’s because they “love” this individual entirely too much?

People choose to stick with the wrong people a little too often.

When the bad outweighs the good in someones relationship, it becomes hard for me to comprehend why someone would stick around with another person for long periods of their life. If the heartache outweighs the happiness, what kind of repayment are you receiving after investing your time to this one person? I don’t get it.

In What’s Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner was caught up in some warp spell with Ike Turner. No matter how shitty he treated her, she stuck around because she loved him. This man yelled at her over simple issues, beat her when he felt she was disrespectful, he basically treated her like she was his pet, in a way. This guy even raped her. What the hell was keeping her around?!

It’s sad the reality of a situation like Ike and Tina’s. So many others go through it everyday because of the fear of having to start over with someone new. I say screw that! That’s not a reason to refuse to leave a bad place in your life. What’s love got to do with it if you’re getting disrespected everyday dealing with this “love.” To me, it’s not love at all. It’s simply fear and confusion. The fear of stepping out on someone they’re obviously confused about.

Are you aware of what’s right and wrong in your relationship?

Communication is key in every relationship so why not address what the correct things are for the both of you in your relationship. Who likes what? Who believes getting beat is what happens in a relationship? From day one,a person’s wants and needs should be hashed out in a mature conversation with their significant other. Maybe not the first date, but while both parties are getting to know what they like. They’ll truly be spending their time getting to know someone they should care about.

Later when the both parties have spent so much time getting to know each other, they’ll be put in a better position to be happy with each other. If a person is unable to communicate their concerns, they won’t comprehend this most important step. Assumptions rule that person’s ability to make rational choices. Sometimes that’s what makes me believe influences someone’s decision to put their hands on another person, through their assumptions and inability to solve problems. Simple communication can fix that.

Know when their time is up!

When is the correct time to know you’re tired? Some people miss the point where they should say, “Look, I’m tired of this happening to me.” Should a person wait until they’re in the hospital while their health is not too great, should they wait until your spirits are sucked from within and they see it’s impossible to move on to something better for themselves. That cannot be me at all.

I’m sorry if I’m coming off a bit passionate about this subject. It’s just when I’m watching TV, why do I have to be reminded of the dumb things I’ve seen at some point in my life. I’ve known people who I’ve seen first hand go through what my generation may call the “Ike Turner.” Ha-ha! It’s no reason to glorify it.

When someone’s time is up, they’ll feel it in their soul and know enough is enough. It’s when that person will finally grab their dignity and say no! They’ve finally gained respect for themselves. They finally love themselves.

Move The F*%# On

So someone’s hand is slapping you across your face. Are you going to hit them back, let it happen with no consequences, or walk away with your dignity in tact. Uhh, I suggest a person to walk away because they’d look really retarded standing there getting hit, giving the permission to another person to continually put their hands on them like the person is above them.

There are billions of people on this earth. Forget that one crummy person who can’t respect someone they claim to love. We don’t bring down others self-esteem over here! We uplift them and this post is meant to uplift another. Rise up from what you’re comfortable in being involved in and change your life around.

Can you name a circumstance where you knew someone was in a bad predicament, like domestic abuse? Share them in the comments below.

Read Petition to Comb Blue Ivy’s Hair on Doc’s Castle Media

Relating to Relationships 1: When You’re Meant To Be Married…

Are you pondering the same question that I’ve been questioning myself since the beginning of last year? At this point of our lives, we should have all taken the moment to analyze our current relationships. I mean, we aren’t getting any younger. I’m turning 23 soon! If we’re seeking to be married sometime in our future, shouldn’t we be more serious about how we choose our partners?

I’ve thought of all my relationships throughout my life and I really wonder where I’m headed. Am I the only one who thinks that I’ve never progressed to a love life worth taking to marriage? I don’t want to seem like I’m worried about the wrong things. But I’ve been analyzing my relationships so much lately that it’s gotten to the point that I choose to not think about it after certain periods of the day. I’m looking forward to starting a career, a life, and a family soon. But with the dudes I’ve been dealing with my entire life, I’ve never met anyone I felt is worthy of husband title. I’ve even found myself questioning is there a such thing as true love anymore with this country’s divorce rate being ridiculously high? Is true love even real?

I’m certain I’m not the only person feeling this way because there are many people in the same boat as me, especially on these social media sites we so often post on. We’re all trying to figure out what’s the perfect love. We’re all hoping to find the perfect companion who’ll whisk us away to our future. If you’re not looking for that, you’re fooling yourself because everyone wants to feel loved.

I wanted to write a blog dedicated to addressing the question, “Am I meant to be married?” On Seth Adam Smith’s personal blog-site, he recently addressed that question. He talked of when he questioned marrying his wife. Seth expressed at one point of his engagement to his wife he felt unsure if he was meant to be married because he was unsure if she was right for him. When he asked his father about his feelings towards the subject, his father immediately told him he was being selfish about how he chooses to marry someone.

In Seth’s article, we’re told that when searching to marry someone, you’re not choosing to marry for yourself. You’re choosing to marry for the person you’re marrying, other people around you, and people who’ll be in your future. Seth, in his article, makes it seem like love and marriage isn’t meant for you at all. Though it sounds pretty crazy for someone to say love isn’t meant for you and it’s for who you want to marry, I agree with the guy. But I don’t like it and I’m going to say why I cannot understand how this plays out this way in the real world, though it will always be this way.

I’m simply selfish.
I really don’t understand how to know if someone’s for me because I’m selfish just like Seth. There are times when I don’t want to sacrifice. I haven’t found a person to sacrifice for. Is sacrifice a two way streak? Are we suppose to both sacrifice for each other, or will it work like if I truly love someone, I won’t be looking for favors? I’m the type that searches for equality. If my partner isn’t offering the same as me, why are we even talking? See, I’m selfish.
Love is already hard to define.
How do you know what true love is when you’re loving so many people differently? The love you have for your mother, best friend, and boyfriend are all so different. Do I based the love from my boyfriend as love similar to my best friend? I know my best friend would jump in front of a bullet for me. She’d literally risk her life for me. Would I use instances like that as a basis for understanding true love from my soulmate?
So is Seth’s dad saying that anyone who’s cool with my family and friends is who I ultimately could be happy with?
That’s some bs! I’ve met people that have long term relationships with others and their family can’t stand who they’re with. So marrying someone for the sack of your family is absurd. There’s no selfishness in that at all! You’ve basically given your marriage away if you base your marriage on that.
What about that fire bond you have for someone?
Do we just ignore that type of love? Does it exist? Does it not? I mean it has to exist for those people who stay married for years. Did that feeling develop over time or was it there from the start? I guess that feeling is something that helps people choose when to not to be selfish.

You must be selfless to truly love someone.

I did not come across all these statements alone but with the help of others while questioning them about how they viewed love. As I asked people if they believe they must be selfless in order to love someone, I found that those who answered yes understood how love operates. Those very few people also had long lasting relationships at some point in their lives. I’m not saying that people who don’t believe in the statement, don’t have lasting relationships. I’m actually asking if it doesn’t, how do you stay committed to someone so long if you don’t believe it?

Love absolutely requires sacrifice for someone else but that sacrifice is for your soulmate, no one else is included in that except GOD. So the only thing I’m not agreeing with in Seth’s article is what his dad states about it being for his surrounding family. Marriage is not for the people around me. It’s for my husband, myself, and God. If God blesses me with someone special, I’ll know because he’ll put God first. That’s how you’ll know if you’re meant for marriage. If someone puts God first, they’ll care about their future, people around them, and whoever they’re going to marry. You’re really marrying for God because with him, you experience love. He gives you the experience of selflessness and that’s what’s needed for sacrifice. Sacrifice is what’s needed for an outstanding love. So to put it in simpler terms, when you seek God, knowing if your meant for marriage will eventually reveal itself. In my case, I’m still building on that. I’m still selfish. But I’m halfway there if I can sit here and write this for you to read. If you understand, you’re almost there too.

Seek God and it’ll come! Would you agree? Leave your comments below.

To read my last opinion essay, see What I Really Learned While In College on Doc’s Castle Media.

Relating to Relationships

If you follow me on Twitter or Liked the Doc’s Castle Media Facebook page, you’d know that I’ll be writing a 6 month series of blogs addressing commonly asked relationship questions. Yay!

In December, I asked my followers what they believed were the most frequently asked questions that people had about intimate relationships. I received quite a response. Love seems a little tricky and many of you guys come off as clueless when dealing with it. I see it as a challenging part of life myself. But your questions are worth looking into so each month I’ll tackle your questions with my opinions. This should be interesting.

Starting at the end of January, I’ll answer question number 1, Why Do People Cheat, then we’ll move from there. How does that sound?

If anyone has a question they think should be added to the 6 month series, don’t hesitate to ask. Comment with you questions below to enter it in my review bucket and stay tuned to hear my thoughts. I’m sure many people will have the same or a similar question as yours. It’ll be highly likely I’ll write about it. In the meantime, keep reading.