#PrayForLove: Are you with the right partner? By Jepoy Pakundo

This post was carefully selected for our #PrayforLove series because it addresses the meaning of love in intimate relationships. This excerpt was found on Facebook.com by Jepoy Pakundo.

Source: Facebook

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

This Facebook post was published in April 2013. Three years ago these words were written and continue to go viral on the social site today. There’s a reason this post continues to circulate online. So many people agree with what the author had to say. Love is a decision many people must learn if they’re willing to sacrifice a part of themselves to keep them happy and a part of your life.

What do you think? Do you agree with the author? Tell us how you view love and relationships in the comments below.

Have you read our last #PrayforLove post? Read #PrayforLove: A Major Message After 2015 Paris Attacks on Doc’s Castle Media.

What’s Love Got To Do With It

I recently watched the movie What’s Love Got To Do With It starring Angela Bassett, and I never realize how accurate the film was until I took the time out to analyze how real situations in people’s love lives over power their decision-making process. Have you ever come across someone who’s accepting of so much distress from one person only to find out it’s because they “love” this individual entirely too much?

ike and tina

People choose to stick with the wrong people a little too often.

When the bad outweighs the good in someones relationship, it becomes hard for me to comprehend why someone would stick around with another person for long periods of their life. If the heartache outweighs the happiness, what kind of repayment are you receiving after investing your time to this one person? I don’t get it.

In What’s Love Got To Do With It, Tina Turner was caught up in some warp spell with Ike Turner. No matter how shitty he treated her, she stuck around because she loved him. This man yelled at her over simple issues, beat her when he felt she was disrespectful, he basically treated her like she was his pet, in a way. This guy even raped her. What the hell was keeping her around?!

It’s sad the reality of a situation like Ike and Tina’s. So many others go through it everyday because of the fear of having to start over with someone new. I say screw that! That’s not a reason to refuse to leave a bad place in your life. What’s love got to do with it if you’re getting disrespected everyday dealing with this “love.” To me, it’s not love at all. It’s simply fear and confusion. The fear of stepping out on someone they’re obviously confused about.

domestic violence

Are you aware of what’s right and wrong in your relationship?

Communication is key in every relationship so why not address what the correct things are for the both of you in your relationship. Who likes what? Who believes getting beat is what happens in a relationship? From day one,a person’s wants and needs should be hashed out in a mature conversation with their significant other. Maybe not the first date, but while both parties are getting to know what they like. They’ll truly be spending their time getting to know someone they should care about.

Later when the both parties have spent so much time getting to know each other, they’ll be put in a better position to be happy with each other. If a person is unable to communicate their concerns, they won’t comprehend this most important step. Assumptions rule that person’s ability to make rational choices. Sometimes that’s what makes me believe influences someone’s decision to put their hands on another person, through their assumptions and inability to solve problems. Simple communication can fix that.

fear

Know when their time is up!

When is the correct time to know you’re tired? Some people miss the point where they should say, “Look, I’m tired of this happening to me.” Should a person wait until they’re in the hospital while their health is not too great, should they wait until your spirits are sucked from within and they see it’s impossible to move on to something better for themselves. That cannot be me at all.

I’m sorry if I’m coming off a bit passionate about this subject. It’s just when I’m watching TV, why do I have to be reminded of the dumb things I’ve seen at some point in my life. I’ve known people who I’ve seen first hand go through what my generation may call the “Ike Turner.” Ha-ha! It’s no reason to glorify it.

When someone’s time is up, they’ll feel it in their soul and know enough is enough. It’s when that person will finally grab their dignity and say no! They’ve finally gained respect for themselves. They finally love themselves.

Move The F*%# On

So someone’s hand is slapping you across your face. Are you going to hit them back, let it happen with no consequences, or walk away with your dignity in tact. Uhh, I suggest a person to walk away because they’d look really retarded standing there getting hit, giving the permission to another person to continually put their hands on them like the person is above them.

There are billions of people on this earth. Forget that one crummy person who can’t respect someone they claim to love. We don’t bring down others self-esteem over here! We uplift them and this post is meant to uplift another. Rise up from what you’re comfortable in being involved in and change your life around.

Can you name a circumstance where you knew someone was in a bad predicament, like domestic abuse? Share them in the comments below.

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