Doc's Castle Originals Archives - Page 11 of 12

Q & A with The Industry Blogger

The fourth addition to my Blogger’s Rundown is Malika Muhammad, founder of The Industry Blogger. I had a joyous time meeting this bright young woman. While taking the time to get to know her, I’ve learn how much drive she has to become a well renown journalist in the very near future. At our little meeting, we discussed her interest in writing a print based blog, her goals within the next 5 years, who’s her inspiration, and what local artists she supports in Baltimore. I also learned we share lots of common interest. I can’t tell you how cool it is to meet another person who shares that same passion as me. I get excited about it. Ha-Ha! Both of us are inspired journalist seeking to go far with our blogs. I know that if Malika keeps striving while doing what she does best, she’ll absolutely reach her dreams. I look forward to doing some collaboration with her in the future.

Doc: Tell us the story behind your blog, The Industry Blogger?

Malika: So it all started last year, July of 2013. So I’m really new at this. I looked at the Baltimore scene and was like, “It’s so many talented people out here.” But nobody would know that because we all have this stereotype of Baltimore artists or people in Baltimore, period. I was like, “I’ma be the one who lets everybody know that we’re not just talking about weed or being in the hood.” I want people to know that we can actually play instruments and put together well-formed lyrics, something that’s with a message. I met a whole bunch of bloggers on the way. So I realized I wasn’t alone in this. After that, I was like, “Oh, man!” (Laughs)

Doc: (Laughs)

Malika: But then I thought it was a great thing. I’ll just unite with them and we can bring Baltimore up together. It’s better to do it with a team anyway.

Doc: Alright, that’s cool. So where did you get your name from?

Malika: I did so much brainstorming. I thought of doing something simple because I was thinking about it too much because I had a cupcake business, too. So I was thinking of some names for that, also.

Doc: You still have that?

Malika: Umm, it’s like on the side. (Laughs)

Doc: (laughs)

Malika: If someone wants cupcakes, I’ll say, “I’ll make em for you,” but not really. (Laughs) But for the Industry Blogger, I was listening to Kendrick Lamar. You know the song where he’s like, “I’m effing the industry hard?” (Referring to Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe)

Doc: Yeah, I know what song you talking about.

Malika: I was listening to that. I just love that word. I like the word Industry. It’s powerful to me. Then I chose to name my blog Industry Blogger. When I put it together, I wanted it to happen fast. But I’ve been brainstorming for months before July for my blog. But I just needed a name so I decided the Industry Blogger and I would market myself with it. That’s how it came about.

Doc: Oh, wow. Would you consider your blog kind of like a print journalistic type of blog? Because I know of multiple blogs that have video or just post a song? What would you consider yours to be?

Malika: I want to say it’s a mixture. But I mainly want it to be print journalism. I don’t want people to say that I’m just a blogger. I think people lose credibility being label as that because they may think they can blog about anything like they gossip. I don’t want to be labeled as a gossiper. I want everything I post to be truthful and honest. So I would say it is more print journalistic.

Doc: I agree with you. That’s how I want people to view my blog. A lot of people do think of bloggers as gossipers. Is there anyone that you draw inspiration from, like a famous reporter?

Malika: Yes, first it was Sherrie Johnson. She was on ABC2 News. She’s been promoted doing other things now. But that’s on a local basis. Karen Civil is another one. She’s like the main person I look up to. I’m always on her page. I just love her. I’m always on her Instagram or her website trying to see her next move. I’m not trying to mimic everything that she’s doing. I’m just really inspired by her because she meditates. She’s spiritual. She’s a woman. That’s why I want to be kind of different from her. I want to angle myself off her but not so much as people saying that’s another Karen Civil.

Doc: Right! She’s like a model to you. You want to do your own twist. Originality! So I read your blog about supporting Baltimore artist and I loved what you said about it. You know as far as people supporting people, and it inspired me to write a blog myself.

Malika: Oh really? Thank you. I’ll have to check that out. (Laughs)

Doc: Yeah. (Laughs) You talked about artist that lacked originality and they’re always copying other people who are already in the Industry. Would you say that there’s at least five artists here you would support?

Malika: Yup. I definitely would say Chris Bivins. He’s from Howard County. I like Jayverse. I put him on my blog. Umm, Solution. He’s with Teamwage. He just went solo. Blizz. I don’t know. I have so many people. (Laughs) I like Gillateen and Lonnie Moore. I should have named him (Lonnie) after Solutions.

Doc: Oh! That’s good that you’ve named five. Are you open to collaborating with other bloggers in the DMV/Baltimore region?

Malika: I am. I didn’t think of that at first. Remember, I thought I was the only one because I didn’t see it at first. But of course, I must didn’t do enough research then. But I do. We can write together or umm…

Doc: Guest blog on each other’s posts.

Malika: Right! I would love to do that. I actually quoted something about that for people to submit articles to my page. If you’re smart, everyone knows that takes more work off of you.

Doc: Exactly! So do you know anybody in particular that you would want to write for? Any local blog sites?

Malika: Umm, the only two blogs that I’ve become really acquainted with is TruDat and Vivid Visions. So we can do something together. That would be cool. But I haven’t research many bloggers. I just had seen Ryan tweet bloggers. So that helped me a lot.

Doc: Yeah, I know! That helped me out, too.

Malika: (Laughs) I was like, “Okay, I’ll look at all of these.” But those two. If I could do all of them, I would. I think that’s the problem. We need to keep supporting each other and stop being against each other. At the end, we are all competitors. But still.

Doc: But still, it would help each other out.

Malika: We’ll all be getting our name out there.

Doc: Exactly! What would you like for your blog to be remembered as?

Malika: Hmm, that’s a great question. I just want people to see that for me I wanted to start at the base of hip-hop. I want people to know that it’s not just on the surface, where we’re just posting videos or links to music. I want people to get in deeper into it. I want them to experience what hip-hop actually is. I don’t want people to say that I’m just a blogger that blogs about music because I like it. You have to actually be hip-hop. You have to study it.

Doc: Like actually go to the events; support the people who you’re posting about.

Malika: Yeah, I definitely want to be seen as a person who supports local music, someone who’ll tell you the history of it on the spot. I just want to be known as someone who’s really in tuned with the culture all together.

Doc: So where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Malika: Awe man that question. (Laughs)

Doc: (Laughs)

Malika: Five years from now, I would still want to do this blog. I want it to be bigger than what it is now. I want it to lead to bigger opportunities. So if that means leading to being a personality on TV or radio, and I’ve actually tried radio before…

Doc: Did you like it?

Malika: It was okay. (Laughs)

Doc: (Laughs)

Malika: I would say I like TV better. People think that’s odd. But I like TV better. I would like to do radio, TV, and writing in the future. I want to be a person who’s multifaceted. I want to do a little bit of everything. I want my own business. In five years, I don’t want to be working for anyone but myself. I’m just putting that out there.

Doc: Okay, I get you. So do you take submissions from hip-hop artist?

Malika: Yes, I do. That’s how I get most of my content. I’ll post my email on one of my social media sites or I have them submit on my submissions page on my actual blog. I’ll take anything, mixtapes, songs, if you want a bio written. I do it. Some people even text me because I put my number out there all the time or some will email me. All of that is on my blog.

Doc: But you prefer people to submit on your form on the site?

Malika: Yes, because it’s much easier. It’s better organized.

Doc: So they’ll just go to your website and they’ll submit.

Malika: Yup.

Doc: Okay, that’s it. That was the last question. Thank you for being a part of this.

Malika: Thank you.

To read articles by Malika Muhammad, visit her blog site at theindustryblogger.com.

Happy Birthday Doc’s Castle Media!

It’s our special day! On this very day two years ago, I created what you now see today!

Doc’s Castle Media changed my life in so many ways. Before I started this blog, I wasn’t sure what direction I wanted to go, career wise. Honestly, I still don’t. Ha-Ha! But through the development of my very own publication, I’ve learned what I love to do and what I’m good at. I love to write, and I’ve been told I do it well.

Five years ago, I was very unsure of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had dreams of being a model, an actress, an artist, and so many other occupations. But through rejection and people constantly telling me what I could and could not do, I learned that I hated be told what to do. So my interests in those “dreams” easily faded. I developed an interest in doing what I could do without people telling how to do it, a CEO mentality.

Through trial and error, I’ve learned I have a talent in creating ideas and, then later, executing them. I’m meant to have an impact, to be a voice and an innovator for something. I never knew what. But I’ve always known that if I wanted to be heard, my strength would have to be displayed through what I do best, in my writings.

Often I’d think to myself, if no one would hear me no other way, writing would get me recognized. I remember being 11 years old living at my aunt’s house with 7 other people getting frustrated when I felt like I wasn’t being heard. I would have journals filled with pages upon pages of thoughts I didn’t believe people cared about. I would tell myself, I’ll write my way into existence. What I find so funny is 12 years later, I continue to say this, and now, I’m existing because people find what I write worth being read. That’s an awesome feeling! Thank you very, very much!

Though I’m not at the point of full satisfaction, I am happy that I’m reaching someone. But I am not done! This blog is one of the few things I’ve been consistent with and truly enjoy.

This is my baby in which I’m very proud of. Doc’s Castle Media is on its come up and I do not plan on slowing down. I have too many things to offer to this world that I believe can make it become a better place. This is only the beginning. I’m still striving for my existence! I will be great!

Artist Update: K. A. Walker’s “Trouble on Valentine’s Day”

Here’s some good news for the fans of our contributing writer K. A. Walker, author of the series Hide and I’ll Seek. She’s gone off to college at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP), and is a contributing script writer for a series on the college’s cable network. She writes for Sketch O Phrenia, a comedy sketch show that focuses on the humor of everyday situations. The show is popular on the school campus and labeled on its Twitter as “the best comedy show since 2012.”

K. A. Walker sent in her first skit production that was premiered on the college series last week. “Trouble on Valentine’s Day” focuses on the possible worst nightmare of someone who’s considered deeply in love. That nightmare being forgetting about Valentine’s day. The skit follows a boy who forgets that it’s Valentine’s Day. He must figure how to please his girlfriend at the last-minute while not having money to give her what he believes is the best day of his girlfriends life.

We’re very proud of K. A. Walker’s first production at this University. We hope that she continues to strive and do her best while perfecting her skills in screen writing.

To keep up with IUP’s Sketch O Phrenia series, subscribe to the school’s SketchOPhrenia IUP channel on YouTube. To read more of K. A. Walker’s work, read her teen horror series Hide and I’ll Seek on Doc’s Castle Media.

And the New Member of Vivid Visions is…

Today is a special interview because you heard it first from Doc’s Castle Media. It’s an exclusive interview with Vivid Visions’ newest member Janai! She’s joined in with Vivid Visions as the honorary host for their popular vlog interviews on their blog site. R. Chance will be resigning from the position to focus more on business and web posting asset of the Vivid Visions site. We’ll surely miss him but don’t be too down in the dumps. With Janai’s electrifying attitude, she’ll be sure to spice up the interviews to ensure that viewers enjoy what they’re hearing. I can’t wait.

In our interview, Janai and I discussed her feelings towards being chosen as the host for Vivid Visions, who’s her favorite artist in Baltimore, what school she went to, and who’s her inspiration to do what she loves. I really loved chatting it up with her, and I look forward to talking with her in the future as host of the Vivid Visions. She’s definitely someone to watch.

Doc: I’m hearing that you’re the new host for the Vivid Visions Vlogs. How do you feel about being addressed with that honor?

Janai: …Just as it is. It’s an honor! I mean, it’s an up and coming blog, and we’re trying to put Baltimore on the map. You know how it is music wise. We’re trying to help the artists. Also, it’s dealing with things that I love. It’s definitely an honor. Hopefully, we do it the right way and we do it BIG.

Doc: Yes, we need that, too. So how did it really come about? Did you ask Ryan if you could be the host?

Janai: No, actually. (Laughs) Well, me and Ryan have been friends and known each other for a long time. He asked me before but I was doing other things, like something similar. So at the time, I was just like “nah!” (Laughs)

Doc: (Laughs)

Janai: But it came up again, and I was like “You know what; I think it’s a bit more structured now. I think we can definitely make some stuff happen.”

Doc: Okay! Do you have prior hosting experience?

Janai: In this aspect, a little bit. If anybody knows me, they know that I’m a talker.

Doc: I can see that. (Laughs)

Janai: (Laughs) I guess it’s just in me. So I could be hosting and not be hosting. I hosted certain shows like maybe a poetry slam and poetry night. But as far as blogging, nah! So this is a new thing for me.

Doc: This should be an experience for you then.

Janai: Yeah.

Doc: Have you been interviewed as a feature on another blog or is this your first time being interviewed?

Janai: Yes, this is my first time being interviewed. I did an interlude for Vivid Visions before, and it was just something random. We were in the store and I was being my goofy self. (Laughs) It just so happened that they posted it that way. As far as being interviewed, no. Not for another blog.

Doc: Oh cool! Is there anyone in particular that you look forward to interviewing?

Janai: Yeah…but they’ve already been interviewed.

Doc: Who?

Janai: Will!

Doc: Oh yeah!

Janai: Ryan definitely stole that from me. If it was anybody I wanted to interview, it would definitely be Will.

Doc: Later on, when he puts out another mixtape or when he gets really big, you could still interview him. You’ll always have the opportunity.

Janai: You’re right. There’s also this kid. I’m really, really close with him. He’s a young guy by the age of 16. His name is Tres’ McMichael. He does everything. He does art. He does dancing. He’s an actor and a singer. Everything! I really want to get cracking with him.

Doc: Oh yeah, he might want to submit to me or something. (Laughs)

Janai: I’m trying to put him out there. (Laughs)

Doc: So do you have a favorite artist in Baltimore, someone who you really support?

Janai: Oooh. In Baltimore? …Will. Yes, Will and Kaseo because I’ve seen where they’ve come from to where they are now. They’ve definitely grown with their craft.

Doc: And they seem to be real persistent in what they do.

Janai: They really, really are. It’s crazy to look at people who you know and be like, “Since when did you rap?” “When did you do these things?”

Doc: You went to Milford?

Janai: No.

Doc: Oh, you didn’t because you know a lot of people from there? (Laughs) I know Will went to Milford.

Janai: I know basically all of Milford’s class of 2009 and 2010. I went to Old Court Middle School, and then I moved to Pennsylvania right after so that’s how I know everybody. Also, you know how Baltimore be, when you know somebody, you know somebody else. (Laughs)

Doc: Right! (Laughs) So where are you hoping this Vivid Visions opportunity takes you?

Janai: I’m hoping that it opens doors for a lot of dreams that I have. I’m hoping that it is an outlet to a much bigger success for all of us. This is not just a blog. We’re a family. This is a community that we’re trying to build. So it’s a bigger picture that we’re all holding on to. I know a lot of people who are looking like, “Oh, they’re just featuring a lot of artists.” We’re really trying to tap in, and bring unity and support to a lot of talented people. Baltimore has enough strife and conflict. We just want to put the unity out there; put the love back out there.

Doc: I feel you. That’s what it needs to be in this city. Is there anyone in the industry that inspires you to do what you want to do already, like La-La Anthony? You know she started off just hosting.

Janai: Yeah, she sure did. You know what, that’s a good example. Actually now, Queen Latifah mainly because she started off rapping. Then she went into acting. She’s a wonderful actress. She’s a singer, and now she has her own talk show. She’s very influential. She’s breaking down a lot of barriers. She also worked for Cover Girl. She’s really well-known. She’s very inspirational to a lot of younger women. It’s not about what people see on the outside. But as far as what she is and what she stands for, she’s awesome.

Doc: I agree with you because she’s not doing one thing anymore. I feel like she kind of matured. She started off with rapping and then was like, “You know I’m a bit too old to be doing this. Let me find out what else I can do.”

Janai: Yeah. I see a lot of her in me. A lot of people don’t expect you to be a certain way. A lot of people expect me to be goofy and silly, which I am. (Laughs) But it’s also so many different sides of me that I’m pretty sure people are going to be surprised to see once we get out there and do a lot of things.

Doc: I mean a lot people may already be a little surprised of Vivid Visions already. It’s been a big turnaround.

Janai: It is. It really is, and a lot of people were thinking, “Oh, Vivid Visions, they’re about to do this again.” But it’s much more structured. So a lot of people are tapping in.

Doc: That’s the way it should be.

Janai: Exactly!

Doc: Well, that’s all my questions. Thank you!

Visit Vivid Visions at VisionsVivid.blogspot.com.

Read Doc’s last interview with Briana: Q & A with RebelliousRebel on Doc’s Castle Media.

Baltimore Is Too “Cliqued” Up To Have Supporters

“If we create a group of strong individuals who’ll support each other, then we’ll create a power house of people that will exceed all expectations. We’ll change this city for the better,” says every person who forms a group full of talented people, expecting it’ll change the turn out of their shows. Womp Womp!

Too many people have this philosophy but in Baltimore it does not work. Content is key. Content is what brings people to an artist’s show! When was the last time you’ve decided to go to Kanye show because he had a power group with him there? The Jay-Z and Kanye power house was damn near three years ago. He’s currently standing alone. People go because of the content of his show.

I recently read an article from Baltimore Blogger Malika Muhummad titled “Why Baltimore Artist Can’t Make A Deal.” Malika talks of how many Baltimore artist lack originality. Why strive to be the next Lil Wayne when artists should be working to make a name for themselves? They should be striving to be unique. She also talks of how people should seek opportunities in the city that allows them to give support. There are multiple open mic events that happen throughout the city all days of the week. There are very few supporters of these events. She goes on to name a few examples. I’ve actually been to a number of 5 Seasons open mic nights, which is one of the example that she gives, and the crowd was dry each time I went, meaning there could have been more people there but it wasn’t. Majority of the crowd were artists waiting for their opportunity to have their shine on the stage.

What I see in Baltimore is a sign of doubt from the people artists hope would support them. Listeners in Baltimore doubt if an artist will bring what they enjoy so they stick to what they know. What they know is what they hear everyday, 24/7, on mainstream media. If a person was to listen to 92Q for the entire day, they’d hear the same 10-15 songs, minus the 12 O’Clock Rewind and the occasional rap songs they play on Rap Attack. Do people ever get tired of that?

When it comes to the individuals who claim they don’t listen to the radio or mainstream music, they continue to support people who have a larger followership than the artists from their hometown. Those artists are clearly closer to mainstream radio than ever. Take the Weeknd, four years ago we would have never heard him being played on the radio. Since Drake featured him on “The Crew,” the Weeknd’s spotlight has been heightened. We hear of him more because of the major support people had for him after that song, seeking his music wherever they could find it and going to his shows. Baltimore artists could have the same happen for them if their supporters became educated listeners. If they’d realized how supporting good content produced here can make talented people from Baltimore be heard on the radio, it’d be a greater selection of music to listen to.

But how I see it is it all begins with the content creators and their attitudes towards this city. Baltimore artists need an opportunity to come together in support of each other first. They need to realize they’re all thinking the same. They must show each other that the outcome doesn’t always have to be the same way. If your purpose is to create a city who supports each other, live by it. Building a crew that supports only the people in that crew, shows selective treatment for that group, not for the city. That clique way of thinking will not work for Baltimore. It may work for other places but not with the unique listeners of this city. It’s better if we seek opportunities to help one another because on-lookers will see what we’re doing and want to be apart of it.

This is a message for every artist for all genres to hear. We must seek out those who deserve support and help them because it’s the only way to gain what this city needs; Artist for artist, blogger for blogger, or poet for poet. Then it should turn into blogger for artist, artist for poet, and poet for blogger. Etc., Etc.. Each time a creator finds someone making a difference in this city, they’ll feel enlightened to be apart of it and that exact feeling will bring in more supporters and a bigger audience for everyone. It won’t be easy, but nothing is that’s worth trying.

With everything being said, let’s stop this clique mess and build upon a new Baltimore city.

To read Malika’s “Why Baltimore Artist Can’t Make A Deal,” click here. To hear great music from Baltimore artist, check out Vivid Visions or AmirahRashidah. Both blog sites take submissions.

If you’re looking to be a music highlight on Doc’s Castle Media, send me stuff. Let’s change the city for the better.

Will Blacks Have To Wait Another 100 Years?

I rarely write creative pieces. I leave that up to my fellow writer C. Davis. But something came over me last night that made me want to write a creative essay expressing thoughts I know lots of people may be having with the verdicts of the Michael Dunn and Jordan Davis case. So I just ran with my pen last night…

With all of these important court cases going on that are potentially racial profiling cases, I’m becoming discouraged about the stance of my black american race. When will we truly be considered equal? Will it take another 100 years of mistreatment to finally get what we deserve?

Two hundred years ago, we celebrated the freedom from the chains of slavery. One hundred years ago, we scream for joy because of our civil rights becoming intact. But must we still fight for what we deserve? Blacks do not have it easy, and if you are not black you will NEVER understand. I’m not just another black person screaming for attention. I am not using my race as a crutch!

They wine because we are still “bickering” over things we STILL do not have. We have no justice! We have no rights to live a smooth, judge-free life years after this law of equality was so-called “blessed” into every black man and woman’s life. It’s sad to think that sometimes I’m glad I don’t have children because if I had them, I wouldn’t want them to experience the awakening truth I’ve experienced when I realized that even in 2014 where we see beautiful black people earn money in professions that we once were unable to have grace our presence in times of extreme hardship, we still cannot live without someone yelling ignorant slander accusing us as being something we are not. “Oh, because he has dreads and gloats after he accomplishes his dream, he must be a thug.” Ignorance!

And where are our Martin Luther King Jr.’s? Where are our Malcolm X’s? They seise to exist in my time though we clearly need them today. Where are our black men and women that’ll lead the way for change? We do not have them. All of these beautiful black celebrities and we don’t have leaders.

Because I am black, it does not mean I’m dumb, I’m useless, I’m unable to achieve. My eagerness to strive has nothing to do with the color that appears on me! Because I’m black, it does not me I’m a hoodrat, I’m ghetto, I’m doing nothing but clubbing every weekend like my life depended on it. Matter of fact, just the other day I saw a white woman doing it. I bet they can’t explain that. But I swear they’d say she’s sick or find another excuse to justify that bitch. This world is sick!

I don’t want to turn it around or play the blame game. If we were all blind, it would not matter one bit. From my knowledge, there are instances about life where race has no discrimination, like love or hate, pain or pleasure, life or death. So why do we bicker like we’re better than the other. We need outlining factors to unite us. Even cancer pulls us together in times of despair. Why must that be our cause? Equality should be enough. Instead, we bully each other and look down upon the kids who do it in schools. Everyone needs a punishment. We’re all bullies! We’re all fools!

Change, and I mean the real kind, is what we need. But it’ll take another 100 years to get it.

Read last week’s creative juices submission, Carmone Salome by Taylor Evans.

Relating to Relationships 1: When You’re Meant To Be Married…

Are you pondering the same question that I’ve been questioning myself since the beginning of last year? At this point of our lives, we should have all taken the moment to analyze our current relationships. I mean, we aren’t getting any younger. I’m turning 23 soon! If we’re seeking to be married sometime in our future, shouldn’t we be more serious about how we choose our partners?

I’ve thought of all my relationships throughout my life and I really wonder where I’m headed. Am I the only one who thinks that I’ve never progressed to a love life worth taking to marriage? I don’t want to seem like I’m worried about the wrong things. But I’ve been analyzing my relationships so much lately that it’s gotten to the point that I choose to not think about it after certain periods of the day. I’m looking forward to starting a career, a life, and a family soon. But with the dudes I’ve been dealing with my entire life, I’ve never met anyone I felt is worthy of husband title. I’ve even found myself questioning is there a such thing as true love anymore with this country’s divorce rate being ridiculously high? Is true love even real?

I’m certain I’m not the only person feeling this way because there are many people in the same boat as me, especially on these social media sites we so often post on. We’re all trying to figure out what’s the perfect love. We’re all hoping to find the perfect companion who’ll whisk us away to our future. If you’re not looking for that, you’re fooling yourself because everyone wants to feel loved.

I wanted to write a blog dedicated to addressing the question, “Am I meant to be married?” On Seth Adam Smith’s personal blog-site, he recently addressed that question. He talked of when he questioned marrying his wife. Seth expressed at one point of his engagement to his wife he felt unsure if he was meant to be married because he was unsure if she was right for him. When he asked his father about his feelings towards the subject, his father immediately told him he was being selfish about how he chooses to marry someone.

In Seth’s article, we’re told that when searching to marry someone, you’re not choosing to marry for yourself. You’re choosing to marry for the person you’re marrying, other people around you, and people who’ll be in your future. Seth, in his article, makes it seem like love and marriage isn’t meant for you at all. Though it sounds pretty crazy for someone to say love isn’t meant for you and it’s for who you want to marry, I agree with the guy. But I don’t like it and I’m going to say why I cannot understand how this plays out this way in the real world, though it will always be this way.

I’m simply selfish.
I really don’t understand how to know if someone’s for me because I’m selfish just like Seth. There are times when I don’t want to sacrifice. I haven’t found a person to sacrifice for. Is sacrifice a two way streak? Are we suppose to both sacrifice for each other, or will it work like if I truly love someone, I won’t be looking for favors? I’m the type that searches for equality. If my partner isn’t offering the same as me, why are we even talking? See, I’m selfish.
Love is already hard to define.
How do you know what true love is when you’re loving so many people differently? The love you have for your mother, best friend, and boyfriend are all so different. Do I based the love from my boyfriend as love similar to my best friend? I know my best friend would jump in front of a bullet for me. She’d literally risk her life for me. Would I use instances like that as a basis for understanding true love from my soulmate?
So is Seth’s dad saying that anyone who’s cool with my family and friends is who I ultimately could be happy with?
That’s some bs! I’ve met people that have long term relationships with others and their family can’t stand who they’re with. So marrying someone for the sack of your family is absurd. There’s no selfishness in that at all! You’ve basically given your marriage away if you base your marriage on that.
What about that fire bond you have for someone?
Do we just ignore that type of love? Does it exist? Does it not? I mean it has to exist for those people who stay married for years. Did that feeling develop over time or was it there from the start? I guess that feeling is something that helps people choose when to not to be selfish.

You must be selfless to truly love someone.

I did not come across all these statements alone but with the help of others while questioning them about how they viewed love. As I asked people if they believe they must be selfless in order to love someone, I found that those who answered yes understood how love operates. Those very few people also had long lasting relationships at some point in their lives. I’m not saying that people who don’t believe in the statement, don’t have lasting relationships. I’m actually asking if it doesn’t, how do you stay committed to someone so long if you don’t believe it?

Love absolutely requires sacrifice for someone else but that sacrifice is for your soulmate, no one else is included in that except GOD. So the only thing I’m not agreeing with in Seth’s article is what his dad states about it being for his surrounding family. Marriage is not for the people around me. It’s for my husband, myself, and God. If God blesses me with someone special, I’ll know because he’ll put God first. That’s how you’ll know if you’re meant for marriage. If someone puts God first, they’ll care about their future, people around them, and whoever they’re going to marry. You’re really marrying for God because with him, you experience love. He gives you the experience of selflessness and that’s what’s needed for sacrifice. Sacrifice is what’s needed for an outstanding love. So to put it in simpler terms, when you seek God, knowing if your meant for marriage will eventually reveal itself. In my case, I’m still building on that. I’m still selfish. But I’m halfway there if I can sit here and write this for you to read. If you understand, you’re almost there too.

Seek God and it’ll come! Would you agree? Leave your comments below.

To read my last opinion essay, see What I Really Learned While In College on Doc’s Castle Media.

What’s Your Mental Age? Does It Matter?

What I find to be a common phrase for many people who date outside their age bracket is the fact those people commonly say, “Age ain’t nothing but a number.” Well, it’s true. Have you ever had a moment when you felt like you out grew someone that was doing something you thought was childish but was the same age as you? You were experiencing something I refer to as the “Mental Age Gap.” Everyone goes through it.

The Mental Age Gap happens to everyone. It may even begin in elementary school. For example, If you take the time to watch some kids as they interact in their everyday lives, you’ll notice a child’s mental age gap when you see someone at the age of ten participate in more mature activities, like starting a dance group or writing a book. Those are extensive activities for a child to start. It exhibits leadership and that trait requires some level of mature to take on.

Age means nothing unless authority has some rule over a person’s life. It means someone placed a number on another person to categorize them for activities they can or cannot do. But in reality, without a system of numbers or age, everyone would be equal and literally able to do whatever, whenever they wanted. I’m not saying age is a problem because we do need it for medical cases. I wouldn’t want to say a 6 years old is able to drink vodka without experiencing severe consequences. I’m saying in a matter of interaction with others, a person should be able to meet anyone, no matter the age, and that person can leave a lasting impression without another passing judgment. We aren’t capable of knowing what another is able to do.

Also I wanted to share a link, which is circulating on Facebook more frequently, that gives you the option to check how old you are mentally. I can’t say this is accurate, but it’s fun to do in your spare time. The app said my mental age is 28. I’m really 22 years old. But I commonly get mistaken for 26 or 28, and my results made me chuckle inside because the computer thinks it, too. It could help you understand your current priorities, whether they be good or bad.

Check out www.whatsyourmentalage.com.

Sorry, Tyler Johnson, Victim of Columbia Mall Shooting.

This past Saturday at Columbia Mall in Columbia, MD, there was another mass shooting that followed a week of violent behavior in numerous universities around the nation. These shootings are becoming more and more ridiculous. They’re senseless and I will never understand why someone like Dorien Marcus Aguilar, the gunman who killed 3 victims in the fatal mall shooting, would result in killing someone because of built up sadness within. Counseling should be given free to everyone, courtesy of the federal government because there are too many teens who need help, and we’re not paying much attention to them.

One of the victims in this shooting was Tyler Johnson. I chose to write about Tyler because he taught me a lesson. I did not know him very well. In fact, I didn’t know him at all. But the week before the shooting, I saw Tyler at Zumies while I was shopping with two of my friends. He said hi to me. But the cruelness within my heart that day didn’t allow me to speak back. I actually was rude to Tyler, ignoring him each time he spoke. He said goodbye to me as I left the store, as well. I continued to walk out without saying nothing back, though I heard him. When I left Zumies, there was a feeling inside of me that made me feel terrible for not saying something, as a simple hello, to him. But I shrugged it off and went about my week as normal.

There’s a reason why I remembered Tyler’s face and that incident after seeing him only one time in my entire life. I believe it was to look at myself to see what I really am, a rude senseless individual, too. The only thing that made me different from the person who shot Tyler last Saturday was I did not shoot him. I never spoke and now I feel bad for being that rude person who walked in the store that day.

I wanted to publicly acknowledge the lesson I’ve learned through Tyler Johnson. There is no excuse to inflict how you feel inside onto someone else. I could’ve had a bad day when I saw Tyler, but that didn’t mean I could push my pain onto him. He didn’t know. He did not deserve that treatment from Dorien or me.

Though I know Tyler isn’t around anymore to see this apology, my condolences goes to his family and friends during this difficult time. My prayers are with them along with the other victim’s, Brianna Benlolo, family and friends. It’s a tough world we live in. I can only hope, as a human race, we can all become better to cure its cruelness.

Relating to Relationships

If you follow me on Twitter or Liked the Doc’s Castle Media Facebook page, you’d know that I’ll be writing a 6 month series of blogs addressing commonly asked relationship questions. Yay!

In December, I asked my followers what they believed were the most frequently asked questions that people had about intimate relationships. I received quite a response. Love seems a little tricky and many of you guys come off as clueless when dealing with it. I see it as a challenging part of life myself. But your questions are worth looking into so each month I’ll tackle your questions with my opinions. This should be interesting.

Starting at the end of January, I’ll answer question number 1, Why Do People Cheat, then we’ll move from there. How does that sound?

If anyone has a question they think should be added to the 6 month series, don’t hesitate to ask. Comment with you questions below to enter it in my review bucket and stay tuned to hear my thoughts. I’m sure many people will have the same or a similar question as yours. It’ll be highly likely I’ll write about it. In the meantime, keep reading.