I created a bucket list in the wee hours of Doc’s Castle Media, in 2013, with the hopes of completing everything that’s on it before I die. Participating in a fashion show, recording a rap song, and releasing a mixtape are just a few things I can mark complete from my Bucket Lists. Now it’s nearly a decade later, and it’s time to revisit my bucket list from 2013 to see if I somehow continued to scratch things without staying on top of it all of these years.
At the time, I made a bucket list to keep myself busy while searching for a gateway to my career. It’s funny how that was so unnecessary to do because life has a way of making you busy with all its crazy twists and turns. With that said, I kind of forgot about my list until it started trending on Doc’s Castle Media this summer. I guess viewers suddenly have an interest in what aspirations I made for myself 8 years ago. Nevertheless, I am revisiting my list to see what I completed without the thought of conquering my list even being on my mind.
In the last decade, I learned that creating lists helps me feel fulfilled. They’re made to give me purpose. I don’t need reasons to do things, but it’s better when I set goals for myself that grant direction whenever I hit a period in my life I feel I am “stuck.” As a mental health practice, conquering bucket lists and creating vision boards gives me reasons to live.
Doc’s 2020 Vision Board
By all means, please don’t confuse it with the vision boards I share online each year, my bucket list is of tasks to complete before I die. There’s no deadline for any of what I want to achieve on this prior to that. In fact, this particular list of goals is full of things that I think are cool saying I can complete throughout my lifetime.
Doc’s 2021 Revised Bucket List:
After living my life these few years, I find that a list of only 12 aspirations is not enough. I want to do so much more. Furthermore, I realize as I age, I should dream of more ideas for my bucket list because every time I complete a task, it feels so amazing. It’s a feeling that should be frozen in time.
Below is my revised bucket list 9 years after it initially appeared on Doc’s Castle Media. The things crossed out represent what’s completed.
Be an audience member in a live show taping (Preferably Ellen)
Write and Publish a Book
Complete SEO/Marketing Certification
Turn my house into my art museum
Own a personal library in my home
Will I revisit this list again in the next decade? Why not? Tracking and revisiting whether I completed any goal is cool. What’s surprising is having the support from my readers reminding me to always come back to it.
Definitely wasn’t expecting this one. I spend so much time writing and researching about other artists in Baltimore City, it’s really been quite some time since someone reached out to have Doc as a featured guest on their platform. That’s why I’m thankful for Brian Waters of Breaking Through Glass Ceilings Podcast because he didn’t have to do this.
It wasn’t since 2017 in my interview with Whiskey Girl in her blog series Embrace The Crazy, I joined another podcaster to talk about the ends and outs of what’s currently going on in the life of Doc. Then, the topic with Whiskey Girl was of Love and Hip-Hop and to share the intimate tales of a former romance with owner Strongway Lifestyle, LLC. In 2021, I interviewed with Breaking Through Glass Ceilings and shared the many outstanding accomplishments I’ve made so far breaking molds with my brand Doc’s Castle, LLC. Love and romance were out of the question, here.
8 Baltimore Media to Watch for Independent Artists is an article on Doc’s Castle Media highlighting the media I think are dope and provides great insight on artist news in Baltimore. Brian’s Breaking Through Glass Ceilings is one of the eight featured platforms I mentioned. When I reached out to share my article with Brian, I didn’t expect to get a personalized special shout-out for sharing his podcast with my readers. Not only did Brian give Doc’s Castle a shout-out, but he also invited me on the show as a guest on his show! Didn’t think I would turn up being that.
We discussed a number of topics and reason why I do the the things I do for Doc’s Castle Media. Some topics such as when I felt I broke through glass ceilings, the importance of sharpening your career skills using your 9-5 job, who has the best crab cakes in Baltimore, and more. I really enjoyed my time as a guest on the show. So I thought I’d share.
Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon is an awesome talent to watch from Baltimore who once graced our television screen on season 17 of ABC’s American Idol in 2019. Now he’s back in town with the help of the Baltimore County Arts Guild to teach aspiring songwriters how to compose their very own successful ballads.
Jeremiah’s story touches my heart because of the personal connection I have with him growing up being once a part of the congregation his dad preaches. I’ve followed and supported Jeremiah for as long as I could remember. Way past the point of our grade school days as we both grew up in the same church community attending the same Sunday school, Awana Club Meetings, and Vacation Bible School services in Baltimore, MD since our wee single-digit years. I never knew what Jeremiah was experiencing dealing with the pressures of being the son of the pastor until his appearance on American Idol where he briefly shares his tribulations, and later in a documentary “The Mirror Will Take Us Home” that focuses on his life growing up as a pastor’s kid.
Despite whatever Jeremiah has been through, I remember him being the talented singer whose voice always shined radiantly Sunday mornings whenever he sang his solos before each sermon. Such a beautiful voice that has sparked an interest in my heart to keep up with his journey well into our later years, even in our bump in collaborations with Today’s 101.9. I’m here to lend my support as another artist in Baltimore proud of the odds that he still chooses to rise above. This is why Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon gets a shout out on Doc’s Castle Media.
Photo Source: Today’s 101.9 Entercom Baltimore
Jeremiah, as a contestant on American Idol, performed while his family rejected him in his desire to pursue a musical career. His story touched the hearts of millions, even pop star Katy Perry when she shared her experiences growing up as a pastor’s kid. His passion for music leads us now with a great opportunity to possibly have his musical genius rub off on us with the rare opportunity to participate in his songwriting workshop in Catonsville.
This isn’t the first time Jeremiah has gotten involved and shown his support for the Arts and performance district in Catonsville, MD. Jeremiah has contributed to donating to two arts and entertainment organizations, The Listening, Inc. and The Catonsville Clubhouse. He also teaches online using The JLH Songwriting and Vocal Scholarship Fund to help aspiring musicians “afford an opportunity at expanding their artistic abilities in his online community through songwriting workshops and one-on-one voice coaching.” During the mid pandemic, Jeremiah hosted the 1st series of virtual songwriters workshop with the Baltimore County Arts Guild in the Summer and Fall months of 2020. Wrapping up his first workshop, participants performed in a virtual recital during the holiday season sharing what they came up with while enrolled in the course. Now he’s back with another 8-week session that will conclude with another live recital of new music.
Jeremiah’s dedication to pursuing his passions motivates me to share with my readers as a #PrayforLove message. I’m big on believing that God does things in people’s lives to show us how to define the true meaning of “love.” Jeremiah’s story is no exception. He should continue striving to share the talent that God gave him through any adversity. His story is inspiring and it’s important for other people to see. It speaks deeply to someone in ways unimaginable. Though his life may have some turn of events, God still provided him with what he needed, which is a positive and much larger community accepting of his gifts. But now also a gift along with a story of acceptance and encouragement for many others seeking inspiration. We actually need more #PrayForLove moments like this.
Listen to the new single “Mama, I Don’t Wanna Go to Nashville ” by Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon via all streaming services or at www.jeremiahlloydharmon.com.
Do you consider yourself a goal-getter? I am 100% a goal chaser. I love setting goals for myself to accomplish. That’s why I chose to start the New Year right by sharing my 2020 Vision Board to Doc’s Castle. Now I want to share my thought process for how I get it done so you can do it for the next year 2021.
Creating a Vision Board really isn’t hard. Since we’re now in December prepping to cleanse our 2020 sins away, many people should be aware of what they want to work towards in the new year.
Generally, I make sure I have an idea of a direction I’m headed for the coming year. I’m not a perfectionist about completing the goals I make. But I do like looking back at previous vision boards with a sense of pride that it all started from a board when I achieved them.
Here are 5 Steps for Creating a Vision Board the Doc’s Castle Media way.
Review Previous Years Goals for Setting Goals for the New Year
Quickly jot down what you are proud of accomplishing during the current year. This is an important step in setting goals for the following year because it doesn’t give a feeling of starting from scratch. Doing this will have you walking into the new year proud of what was already done. Before you make your new list, give yourself a pick me up by listing what you’re proud of completing in 2020.
Categorize Accomplishments
This is definitely an extra step I take in creating my vision boards. It’s not necessary but it helps me build on my achievements. Some goals you may have can be combined because they can be very similar in getting to a mutual endpoint. I categorize these goals because it’s easier to find an image to represent a group of similar things rather than finding images for each listed.
For example, I am able to look at my 2019 Vision Board and see that the majority of goals were for personal development. I had goals to work on planning and organizing. I also had a goal to practice writing. I labeled these goals as self-development goals. When looking for relatable images, I’ll group all pictures for organizing and writing as self-development. This helps me later down the line when viewing my board because any self-development image in use should bring thoughts of these aspirations.
Choosing a Vision Board Template that works Best for You
When looking for vision board examples, you’ll find a variety of different ways people get creative making vision boards. Poster boards, Pinterest boards, and even goals and grids. My vision boards are digitally created, saved as a PDF file, and printed and posted in numerous spots. I like it best this way because I can manage the size of my vision board. I like posting my vision board as a screensaver on my phone or print it out to hang on my fridge. I make sure my goals are very visible.
I also complete my vision board using Adobe’s Photoshop each year. But there are many free apps and software, like Canva and Picmonkey, which gives the same digital flexibility. But if all else fails, you can always make one using pen, paper, and your imagination.
Search for visual representations for Vision Board Ideas
This is where you’ll focus on grabbing vision board supplies and images. My search for inspiration is quick and done using the Google search engine. I research images and terms I created by categorizing my accomplishments. But for many people who opt out of that extra step, they choose an image that will remind them of what they want to accomplish. You can include other cool visuals on your vision board like quotes, places you’d like to visit, and people you’d like to see. The point of your board is to inspire. So you should include any material that will motivate you whenever you see it.
When your board is complete, post it where you’ll always see it. By the computer workspace, next to the bathroom mirror, or on the refrigerator door are great places to post inspiration because these are places most people go at the start of their day. Posting your board wherever you look the most should trigger your mind towards what inspires you. But posting it wherever you start your day is an extra plus because of the anticipated motivation expected to gain from viewing it 365 days of the year. That’s even more encouragement towards your target. So I’d post it high and mighty if I were you.
Now that you have the steps, will you be making a vision board for 2021? Leave your comments below.
Sit with me as I take the moment to do my infamous braid out and share a little bit of Doc’s Caste Media history.
In 2018, Doc’s Castle Media lost its URL for www.docscastlemedia.com due to some unfortunate events and spam activity that caused the website to crash. I lost access to Doc’s Castle Media for 6 months! Readers caught on to my absence slightly before that 6 month period, and I was frequently asked questions about what I planned to do with my blog.
In a new vlog series What’s Up Doc, I’ll share more personal ideas and plans I have for my blog and also share a few personal things going on with Doc. Readers will have more opportunities to hear my voice and get to know me beyond just writing about what’s happening around me. This comes as an idea after two years of starting an art blog on IG. When creating my art blog, I had no idea anyone would follow my page. I did not start with the idea to share art with people that I knew. Instead, I let my art following build organically and I hope to do the same with my vlogging series geared to sharing more about what I take personal interests in.
My 1st episode is a podcast style recording giving a little background insight on Doc’s Castle Media. Readers can find out some history about the Doc’s Castle, LLC brand, what I was up to during my year-long hiatus between 2018 and 2019, and what new things are coming for the blog. I do this all while styling my hair into my go-to hairdo.
If you can leave the correct year Doc’s Castle Media launched in the comments of the video or this blog page, you enter yourself into a drawing for some Tipsy Decòr.The winner will be contacted through direct message. Do you know?
I did a poll via the Doc’s Castle Instagram and Facebook pages and found out 88% of followers would like me to share a few tips towards my #Thirsty30Body.
Eff the 12% of haters who said no. 😂 Agreeing to share what I know about becoming more fit will help me stay motivated to stay on track, as well. So boo to you and hooray to everyone else who’s helping me stay motivated. I will be posting blogs, videos, and tips regularly to Doc’s Castle in hopes that some of you will want to join in with me.
As I am entering into the second half of Thirsty 30 Body Challenge, I want to share four starting tips that I keep in mind as I prep for these next coming months. Here they go:
Get in the mind frame to get healthy, not only to look good.
When thinking of getting healthy, I frame my thoughts to focusing on what makes me feel good and what are good habits to have. I’m not the type to worry about having an hourglass figure or needing a big butt or chest because the attention it awards isn’t what I want. It’s already hard on women when we feel the pressures of wanting to feel attractive and there are thousands of images being pushed of models and celebrities half-naked in the mainstream media. Those pressures I’ve never embraced. It’s nice knowing that I look good. But I welcome compliments that uplift me and enjoy getting attention based upon my intellect for what I do. I want to keep it like that. So what makes this weight loss journey a “Thirsty” one?
“Thirsty” defined in the urban dictionary means:
An adjective used in describing a person deliberately fishing for compliments, attention, etc.
Too eager to get something (especially play)
Desperate
But I’m defining what “Thirsty” means for me in year 30. I’m encouraging healthy living and hopefully aspiring to be thirsty for a healthier lifestyle. So it begins with what it means to look and feel healthy. It’s not about the physique though I will reap those benefits. The #Thirsty30body is the perfect body for ME! Thirsting for wealthy health.
Spend time getting to know yourself.
Knowing how much I weigh, though it’s good to start with, wasn’t enough for me to get moving and actively exercising because, as I said in the intro to the #Thirsty30Body Blog Series, I never looked at myself to be “big.” My motivation sparked after hearing results from my doctor’s visit to my primary care provider. As preventive care, it’s important that I know everything inside of my body is copacetic because I have things to accomplish, goals to achieve, and a life to live with people that I love. So I like to get bloodwork and vitals taken annually. I do this to be aware of what’s happening in my body so that I can control what happens to and within me.
I like to live by this saying: No one should know you more than you know yourself mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It just seems foolish to me to go an entire life doing what is told of you at all times. If you live your life questioning things, you learn new things about the world and yourself. I apply this to everything I do. It makes sense to do it while on this journey as well. So I say do more than weighing yourself on the scale. Really get to know your body past the numbers. Really get into the anatomy and understand what makes you feel good or bad.
Set your Goals and tracking system for accountability.
After getting my measurements, vitals, and all that is needed to understand my body, I went into the “Taylor University” mode, which is when I spend time meditating with my journal. Healthy living is better than simply losing weight because I prefer to not hear the same disappointing results again the following year. So I use my journal to make goals writing out everything about my body in its current state, and I keep track as often as I want of my progress.
There are multiple other ways that helped with tracking that don’t necessarily require you to drag around a notebook, like joining and participating in fitness groups and clubs online where people can help encourage you, taking and saving pictures whenever weight loss milestones are met, or simply regularly recording your weight loss in a monthly calendar. All these activities helped hold me accountable and motivated me in some way to stick to #Thirsty30Body.
Be kind and patient with yourself and keep pushing through it.
This is probably the most important tip I could give because at the end of the day, you are responsible for holding yourself accountable for getting healthy. People forget how hard they can be on themselves when critiquing their own work in whatever they do. They can start off strong, then fall off so fast because they didn’t pace themselves to be realistic in their journey. After that, they give up. Be kind to yourself and don’t get lost in disappointment if you haven’t quite met your goal. Be patient and allow a realistic timeframe to meet those goals. But also know when to pick yourself up to get the work done to achieve what you’ve started.
Something my mother would say whenever we’d talk about going through hard times is “There’s Always Tomorrow.” She’d say this whenever we’d hear crazy things happen like mass shootings or awful dealings that ended in demise or turmoil. Though resulting in thinking like this might be a little extreme for pursuing losing weight, it works perfectly for me. It won’t hurt me if I haven’t met a goal to lose 2 lbs in one week. I can dust myself off for the following week, and I’m not saying that without revisiting “Taylor University” to make changes to finally meet that goal at some point. I just keep pushing through it. Eventually, I’ll lose those two pounds. So be kind to your mind and body, and also remain determined.
What are somethings that you do to help prepare to lose weight? Leave your answers in the comments below. Also, subscribe to get updates to your email for the next #Thirsty30Body post via subscription form below.
My weight-loss journey started in 2018. Nothing to do with it being about losing weight because I never viewed myself to be “big.” I was going through a moment I was falling off of a path of knowing what I wanted to do in life. It’s the first time I would publicly admit I was going through a moment of depression. I had recently quit my job as a dental business assistant, was dumped by my boyfriend at the time, and unfortunately was getting physically sick very often. I wasn’t feeling like my usual self. My journey started as another escape route from my self induced coma of writer’s block from updating DCM, as well. I thought why not go to the gym because I’m not doing anything else but working just to get off work to lounge all day. After hitting the gym a few times, I notice I felt more energized. Then I connected losing weight to feeling better which was the little motivation I needed to get out of a bad mood.
In 2015, I took an interest in studying how to strengthen my “will-power” muscle as a way out of some “drama.” So much so, self-discipline was my focus word coming into 2015, before I started making vision boards. It was another dark period for me. But I considered it an era where I truly started to understand my place in Baltimore’s Arts and Underground Culture, as well. I started taking the same mini habits and principles I learned and valued about myself during that time as a blueprint for how to get back to my sane place in 2018.
By little habits, I mean, I used my knowledge of the small habits about myself I’ve jotting in my notebook to push me forward. I already knew so much about fitness and weight loss because I’m a daughter to a dietitian. Since elementary school, I’ve known the food guide pyramid from corner to corner. Ask any of my friends about the foods I like to eat when we’re dining out, and they’ll say I’m the only person they know who’d order a salad as an entre for a meal. In this new journey, I decided to focus on the little parables, habits, and principles I valued as a way to help me set and achieve goals towards losing weight.
Here’s five examples of what I mean by habits, sayings, and principles I jotted in my notebook:
If I carry a small notebook and flip through reading its pages often, it’ll inspire me to write and track new ideas in it often. (Using a notebook to keep recipe notes, nutritional tips, and shopping lists).
If something is constantly in your face, view it as a notification that needs to be swiped away. (This helped me with posting notes of weight-loss goals everywhere I looked often and taking them down whenever I completed them.)
“It takes 28 days to form a habit.” (Kept this in mind to help build my habits to eating new foods and drinking water daily.)
The rule of 3 and 5 when completing my To-Do lists. (I used this while following Meal plans and completing challenges.)
Making and completing mini-challenges are additional ways to developing steps for reaching your set goal. (Knowing this helped me to set squat challenges and not eating white carbs for a week challenges.)
I used simple ideas I always thought about as a foundation for building a productive lifestyle and as a way to form a healthy persona I wanted to meet.
I officially began pursuing what I now call the #Thirsty30Body challenge at the end of summer 2019 on a whim when I decided to join a 6-week fitness Boot camp named Hero Fit in Columbia, MD. I did it seeking to find another way to “self-discipline” and strengthen my will-power muscle because I reached another period in my life I believed I needed to regain focus. But this time I thought, “Hmm, what if I put a deadline on it?” That’s where 30 came into play.
Hero Fit reeled me in with their enticing incentive to reward anyone who met their challenge of either losing 20 lbs or 5 % body fat by 6-weeks. Winners could get $500 reward, have a trip for two to Las Vegas, and a 6-month membership for the fitness gym and resources. Hero Fit provided all their clients with an accountability coach and nutritionist to assist each member with carefully crafted fitness plans provided at the start of joining the 6-week challenge. People who join the boot camp gain friendships and plenty of useful information to aid in achieving a healthy lifestyle.
I didn’t win the Hero Fit challenge though I was short of the reward by only 3 lbs. I continued to take everything I did while enrolled in boot camp with me because what I found out was that my accountability coach and nutritionist knew as much as I did about my body. My meal plan and workout routine remained the same regardless of being enrolled there. It’s the accountability that gets me to where I needed to be and the best results.
Ding ding! It’s accountability and tracking that literally keeps me together in anything I choose to do. So I stuck to my notebook of simple notes and habits as a way to stay on track of my fitness goals. I believed in myself. I believed in my own accountability to reach my goal so much so that I betted on myself to do it without throwing money at things I wasn’t contributing to using on a regular basis, like my Planet Fitness Membership or subscribing to detox or fasting. All these things some people would think are absolutely necessary to lose weight. I canceled my subscriptions, memberships, and attention for everything I currently used for weight loss, and resorted to free resources and “habits” I knew I would actually enjoy doing to get me to my halfway mark of the #Thirsty30Body challenge.
At the start of the #Thirsty30Body Challenge, I weighed in on the scale at Hero Fit at 226 lbs. At the halfway point of July 1, 2020, I weighed in at 204 lbs. I lost a total of 22 lbs and I feel great! I’m not done. But definitely feel better. And weirdly so…this journey doesn’t feel hard at all because I’ve created new healthy habits that become normal daily actions. My body is starting to look like BAM and I like it.
Hey! Support Black Businesses! The above photoshoot was taken at the new production studio located in Baltimore, MD. TR3 Productions & Distribution Inc. is “a total solution to all media and audio production. From music production to radio broadcasting, TR3 supplies the resources needed for shaping and building a company’s branding message.” TR3 is currently renovating a new production studio in West Baltimore and is expected to open for operation in late summer 2020. Follow TR3 Productions & Distribution Inc. for more updates via their Instagram @TR3.Productions.
As I shared my pictures on my IG, people reached out for advice on how I stuck to losing weight. If you would like me to share some challenges I do to keep up with my #Thirsty30Body challenge, write “Do it” in the comments section below.
We’re going to conquer our dreams. We’re getting back to master planning and sharing vision boards.
Boom! I’m coming back to use this zombieland of a blog I’ve had for over a year in hopes of inspiring people to take on the new decade in high confidence! We’re going to conquer our dreams. We’re getting back to master planning and sharing vision boards.
I’ve been on a hiatus from blogging for numerous reasons that I promise I’ll update in a later post. Today I want to share the vision board I created while prepping for my Doc Castle return. My board is solely my vision for 2020. Though I did draft a plan for a better decade in my daily notebook, I chose to share only what I have in mind for this year so I will not bore you all.
These things are what I consider to be concrete and achievable plans. I’m sharing and posting my board online to solidify and make declarations for my desires. I’ve written yearly goals since attending college, and it has proven to be very effective for me because it helps me get things done. It helps me make steps toward becoming the best version of myself each year. In achieving my goals, my life feels more colorful and more meaningful, and more recently I’ve found that my writings about my experiences completing my goals are my greatest motivation when I’m not feeling 100%.
I’ve shared bucket lists on Doc’s Castle Media in previous years with follow-up blog posts of sharing what I’ve done. Those experiences lead to creating music with friends and being featured in fashion shows. I met amazing people who introduced me to exploring a bigger world. It might not be a bucket list but in sharing my goals for 2020, I hope I can see more vividly and continue living more meaningfully.
Just a few things on the 2020 board…
Travel More
#Thirsty30
Living and Growing Happily with My Boyfriend
Honoring Taylor University Hours
Utilizing my office as a space for productivity and as box of inspiration for brewing ideas.
Stop living in your what if’s and just do what it!
Make Dozens upon dozens of Decorative Vases
When entering into a new year, do you make goals? Share some of the goals you have in the comments below.
This post was carefully selected for our #PrayforLove series because it addresses the meaning of love in intimate relationships. This excerpt was found on Facebook.com by Jepoy Pakundo.
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
This Facebook post was published in April 2013. Three years ago these words were written and continue to go viral on the social site today. There’s a reason this post continues to circulate online. So many people agree with what the author had to say. Love is a decision many people must learn if they’re willing to sacrifice a part of themselves to keep them happy and a part of your life.
What do you think? Do you agree with the author? Tell us how you view love and relationships in the comments below.
America is in chaos with continuous brews of police brutality cases arising throughout the country. With two newly found communities added to the growing list, Baton Rouge, Missouri, and Falcon Heights, Minnesota, I would highly suggest our American government consider finding SOLUTIONS to our countries problems now.
Who likes waking up to someone getting shot multiple times on a live stream through Facebook? Not I.
I’m sure many people did not elect to have that option when choosing to sign up for Facebook or Twitter. But as technology has a plethora of triumphs to be proud of, blatant murder witnessed by the eyes of billions of people on more than numerous occasions should not be one of them.
In Baltimore, another city to fall victim to police brutality has taken another hit. Late July, the highest-ranking police officer to be charged in relation to the death of Freddie Gray was found NOT guilty of charges. Not too long afterward, the judge ordered that all further trials in his case be dropped. That news does not fall pleasantly amongst native Baltimore citizens ears as Freddie Gray’s death was ruled as a homicide, and of all officers to be tried, none have been convicted of criminal charges.
Some people feel overwhelmed with current events, which brings me to share five ways of protecting your mental during times of racial unrest. The Internet, which was once a place of leisure, has become a place I now take breaks from; a place I have to escape every once in a while because of its censorship towards black people’s death sentences. As a young black woman, I can share with you a few things that help me remain level headed when stories, like Michael Brown, Freddie Gray, Philandro Castile, and more recently Korynn Gaines strike our media. These are things I’ve got in the habit of doing since the death of Trayvon Martin. Will my list grow longer? Who knows but hopefully I can help the next black person feel better when it comes to these incidents.
One: Sign out of your social media accounts.
First advice I can give you to help protect your mental is to unplug from your social media pages. Those negatively charged digital words that appear on your screens are not worth you draining any of the positive energy you may already have to carry on with your day.
Facebook is the ultimate boxing match for even the most simple and childish debates. If you don’t believe racism exist, you have never read any of the comments on most posts that go viral. Next time you watch a video on Facebook, visit the comment section. Count how many trolls appear down its list. Sometimes even reading those negative comments from the trolls can get your blood boiling.
Signing offline is easier said than done since Facebook has permanently made homage in our lives. It gives us our daily news, connects us to our loved ones, and provides us with our entertainment. But to protect our mental health, I deem it necessary to sign off for maybe just a few hours as we focus on searching for a better way to live in peace while we find solutions for injustices. When debates turn into hateful slurs, time to turn off your screens. That is not loving.
Two: Allow yourself time to be angry only for the day. Then be constructive with your energy when the time calls for it to be useful.
I don’t want to promote anger that could fuel more hate. But when I feel defeated by something like this, which is larger than I am, I allow myself to release any demons that are inside me at the time.
When all charges were dropped in the case of Freddie Gray, I was pissed. Though majority of my emotions could be labeled as sadness and disappointment, sitting in one spot crying and shaking my head at what I don’t understand countless times can easily turn into anger and insanity because of it’s frequency. I’m exhausted there isn’t any accountability for any of the cases around our country involving brutal police actions. Gray wasn’t the first or second to be killed by police. His number is unknown and that is a problem.
For families to be left without explanations and ignored by a government meant to serve them, there should be no expectation from any authority to expect these families to let whatever happened just go. This is the same for every citizen that can relate to feeling hurt by these cases. Expecting anyone to ignore what happened and to let these victims’ murderers get away without any ounce of blame is the biggest slap in the face known to humankind. I give you the permission to be mad, but not for long. After you mope around in your grief enough, you gather your thoughts and fight back!
Three: Get creative.
Many ways you can fight back against police brutality is by turning your anger into something beautiful and fighting a negative with a positive.
During times like these, new artists are born. History has proven that issues like these are windows to large movements, such as the Harlem Renaissance, the Black Panther Movement, and today, Black Lives Matter. Over the weekend, the Korryn Gaines Pop Art Show, an art exhibit organized by Karl Keels, best known as Karlito Freeze of Strong Way Radio, and Milly Vanderwood of Give & Take: An Artistic Experience has open doors for many pro-black artists to show their love and support for beautiful and powerful black women who stood for everything that she believed in. Proceeds from the show were donated to Korryn Gaines’ family.
Photo of Korryn Gaines
Getting creative can be the medicine not only to your needs but it can heal onlookers as well. People who can relate to what you create make themselves available to support when they feel a passion behind your cause. That’s why your anger has to be embraced. It is the passion to drive the change this nation needs.
Four: Find people who share the same interests and think like you.
This fourth tip, I cannot say more than enough. Associating with people who do not relate to who you are can be draining. Their negativity is distracting and can hold a person back from being the best person they can be. To get out of these ruts we must rise out of these dark rabbit holes and find people who can be that medicine to our depression.
Many African American organizations, like Hands Up United, the Black Women in Sisterhood for Action (BISA), and the National Action Network, were formed by people who think the same as their peers. These organizers come together because they were affected by inequality, social injustice, and systemic racism in some way. They work as a family and strategically towards saving their communities. Each group’s mission is to create a better future for minorities in hopes of stopping injustices. This week there’s a similar discussion being formed to talk about the injustices that occurred towards Korryn Gaines.
Once you’ve found people who you share common interests and goals, they’ll become the people that’ll be your support system through making a change in your life and community. When multiple minds come together for a better purpose, great outcomes are its results. In the 1960s, black people united to get the civil rights act passed. Today, black people come together to rise above other civil issues, as well. It’s the circle of life.
Five: Realize that showing support for a fellow brother or sister can be the start to change.
What’s currently happening in the black community can be traced back to the idea that blacks lack support for one another. There is a divide in the black community that Black people must overcome. Racism is the root of that divide. The only way to overcome that obstacle is by acknowledging racism to be that the true reason and to unite through supporting one another.
People all over the country are experiencing the same struggles. We see this all over the news. Lots of people are in their moment of adversity. Times have shown during moments of adversity, black people undergo a period of liberation and develop a “new hope.” When things get tough, they march, sing, worship, and praise together. Often in their hour of liberation, change is adopted. Great things happen and the world’s burdens don’t seem so bad. If all this goes on from adversity, we already know that supporting one another is a huge factor in helping create change. Let’s take that step to make a difference.
These five steps have brought me closer to a reality that many other black Americans are experiencing, as well. It’s time to stop encouraging the hate by continuously condoning it and not doing anything about it. To relieve our stress from all these killings we need to first stop accepting it when we watch it. We have to turn the computer off the next time we watch someone die. With fewer views, I believe there will be less for us to see. We need to put things in place to replace those images, and we have to stick together so it can all work. This can be achieved by considering these five tips.
So what do you say? Would you agree that these five tips can be the start of a cultural healing? Leave your comments below.
